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Capture customers from hell!

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I've been reading a lot of the website Clients From Hell on my vacation, and it inspired me to share some of my personal horror stories. These are some of the most unreasonable requests I've ever heard. (Yes, these are all 100% true).

1. “We want to automatically capture things using a camera that does a 360' around the room, and sees all of the objects in it, then fills out some inventory forms for us. Don't tell me that technology doesn't exist, we saw it on TV.”

    

2. “Can the OCR engine also handle drawings? You know, when someone draws something in the margin. We want those automatically recognized.”

    

3. "You can't be serious."

   “We want to ICR about 100,000 documents, but some of them are 75 years old on rice-paper, and in a language that that no one here speaks. You can handle that, right?”

    

4. “We want users to login using their hand print on their monitor. Our thought is they just place their hand on their screen, we scan it, and then they start their work.”

    

5. “Capturing data on an iPad is too expensive. Do you have any of that special paper that just sends what people write and captures all the information without any extra work? Manual labor is expensive.”

    

6. “Dan, we received the proposal for work. Can you recommend someone else who can handle the design, data entry and scanning with all of the quality, but at 20% of the price? Times are tough. Do you know any students or unemployed people?”

    

7. “This should be easy.”

    

8. “All you have to do is make the capture program output to all of our applications automatically. You can do that right?”

To avoid making similar gaffes, you can visit http://www.aiim.org/capture and learn from capture experts. So all you crazy people, what is the worst thing you've ever heard from a team member or customer?

This post and comment(s) reflect the personal perspectives of community members, and not necessarily those of their employers or of AIIM International